Being a Woman
The first thing that Hubby does on waking up in the morning is check his phone and then after the necessary ablutions it’s on to the ipad for catching up with the world followed by a smooth transition to the laptop for work related stuff. What’s it with men and monitors ? They are blissfully happy to stare at screens the whole day and it’s so frustrating to conduct conversations with them when they are romancing the screen . I’ve realised that I’ve started holding conversations with myself due to the lack of response from the opposing party !
We share a love of books and both of us are avid readers. Along comes Kindle and its one more reason for him to gaze at a screen for hours. Hubby is usually quite jovial and witty when conversing, but stick a screen in front of him and Zap, he’s replaced by an automaton. I have to admit that the world of machines is quite secular with the TV, iPad, computers and whatnot getting equal attention. A typical conversation in the morning would consist of long soliloquies on my part with an intermittent grunt from him and the trick lay in deciphering what exactly that meant. Well, taking a leaf out of the story of mountains and Mahomet, one morning I grandly logged on to Facebook ( to digress a bit, I have felt for some time that facebook is the Bermuda Triangle in disguise! ) and proceeded to have a very satisfying chat with Hubby who incidentally was seated at the other end of the couch. However I want to have face to face conversations with him and I’ve come up with some more tactics.
Hubby hates the music I listen to and so while he’s engrossed in the latest shenanigans of Apple, I play my soulful music and that too quite loudly. Up comes the head and he first looks entreatingly at me but I’m made of sterner stuff and so a manic grin is all he gets. Then slowly the gadget in his hands is put on standby with reluctance and then very patiently he asks me why I want to listen to dirges in the morning. Phew ! now that I’ve got his attention, I skilfully manoeuvre ( at least I think I do ) the conversation to other topics of interest. Tactic No.2 is to read the newspaper while he’s engaged as usual. Very casually I poke him on the arm and read out a tidbit from the papers. Initially he manages with the grunt but when the frequency and intensity of pokes go up, up comes the head again. The success rate of this tactic unfortunately is not very high since Hubby usually ends up getting angry for being poked and prodded and disturbed and a fight in the morning is not my aim. I have various other weapons in my armoury which involves waving my hand in front of his face until he looks up, switching off the wifi connection, calling him on his phone which is usually kept in the other room for charging, but all are guaranteed to end in tears and bloodshed so only used in emergencies or when I’m bored 🙂
However, I must say that the kids get complete attention from him and the screens are forgotten temporarily when they are around. I definitely cannot change into a kid and so I’m thinking of painting my face onto a screen and sticking it in front of Hubby when I want to catch his attention 🙂