Being a Woman
Me: I still haven’t made up my mind about this relationship
G: C’mon, Gimme a chance !
Me: It’s not you. I’m not sure about myself. I really don’t know whether this will be long term or not.
G : I swear that I’ll not renege on any of my promises ! You’ve got to give me one chance.
Me : Ok, ok ! I agree but I still have my doubts about long term….
This was the conversation I had with my G, or rather my gym before joining 🙂
True to my word, our relationship lasted for all of 6 months ! I had joined with all good intentions of attending regular sessions and persisting with my efforts,come what may. Well, that was a bit like tempting Destiny to wallop me a good one and wallop it did. Due to various reasons, my stint with the gym was short lived and I’ve never entered one again, not out of spite, but my friend Destiny never let me. I’ve dabbled in yoga, aerobics, classical and Latin American dance forms to name a few. Each foray was like entering into a relationship for the first time. Some were carefully considered decisions, taken after weighing the pros and cons, while I impulsively jumped into a few. Unfortunately none withstood the test of time ! There were even some who tried to lure me with breathtaking promises which I successfully scorned since I was not looking for a brief fling. My eyes were on the lookout for the real deal.
My trials and tribulations with weight loss programs (WLP) closely resemble those faced by young lovers everywhere ! The beginning, as in any meaningful relationship, is fraught with excitement and anticipation. My first thought on waking up would be about my latest WLP. I rush through my chores and land up for our session ahead of time, though slightly breathless with all the rushing. Each interaction is drawn out, cos I want to spend maximum time with my WLP. The end of each session is met with a heavy heart and the desire to meet again as soon as possible.
After many a blissful encounter, my natural, indolent personality gradually emerges. I do try to smother the damn thing, but it’s made of strong stuff. The earlier enthusiasm gets tinged with a touch of weariness and plain laziness. Out comes the excuses and let me tell you I’m an expert at this. Some days it’s the weather while on other days its the suspicion that I might be having an ache somewhere in the vicinity of my toe,finger,ear or any other non-vital organ(am too scared of Destiny to play around with vital organs!). Then I realise there are a couple of negative traits in my WLP which I hadn’t noticed in the initial euphoria. How could I have missed those signs ? What a dictator he’s turning out to be ! How can my WLP command me to meet him regularly and that too at his convenience. (I completely forget that I had joined up at timings convenient to me too :)). A few missed sessions stretch to long periods of absence which ultimately led to termination of the relationship.
Once I take a decision to stop all contact with my WLP,I start getting doubts whether I’ve done the right thing. Wouldn’t it have been better to just continue and maintain some modicum of a contact instead of ruthlessly putting an end to it ? I endlessly argue with myself until it gets too exhausting. Then I just give up and it’s back to square one and the search for the next one. Sometimes I convince myself that I’ll be better off without a WLP in my life but I always come back full circle to wanting one !
The search is on, to find the right WLP, the one I’m sure will be my salvation. It will complete my life and be with me through thick and thin, through bouts of laziness and bouts of gluttony. I’ll never have to explain my absences or my mood swings. The right WLP will hold my hand and lead me down the path of weight loss and happiness 🙂