Being a Woman
Yesterday I received a Whatsapp forward which was a prayer, for parents of children writing their exams. It was beautifully worded and I passed it along to a couple of my friends. On looking back, I feel that it was too calm for someone like me, with a daughter writing her Class 10 exams and a laid-back 11-year-old with a pathological dislike for exams. I have a truckload of fervent pleas straining to burst out of my heart. What does a blogger mom do in such a situation ? No prizes for answering, on the contrary you my dear readers are the willing/unwilling witnesses to my prayer.
Dear Lord, please help me to hang on to what little shreds of sanity I’ve managed to retain in this very trying phase of life. Help me not to surrender to my baser instincts and howl like a banshee when I have a dire situation in hand viz the coming together of diverse elements, like a slightly stressed out teen, an impish 11-year-old in a world of her own and a spouse with mercurial mood shifts. Of course I too am in this cauldron, merrily boiling away. Cool my temper when I feel like clonking Mr.A when he wildly swings from “Does she have to study so much ?”, to “Why isn’t she studying ?” Kindly help the poor man make up his mind as to what he wants her to do.
Let my children understand that there’s a 4 year gap between them and they have to behave accordingly. The 11-year-old acts like a 15-year-old and vice versa. Please Lord, make the younger one understand that lazing around with a smirk in front of her sister and listening to music at a volume which can easily be heard miles away, is really not conducive to my peace of mind. You also have to cool down my teen’s rage which is quite understandably set off by the above mentioned activities of her sibling. At the same time, please make my teen aware of the fact that the time spent in conjuring elaborate schemes of revenge can be better utilised in studying.
Dear Lord, please spare a few moments for my maid. She has to realise that it is not necessary for her to add to the drama in the house by throwing her own tantrums. This certainly is not college and she will not be given any extra credits for class participation. It’s possible that she’s trying not to feel left out. It would have been acceptable some other time, but not right now when I’m running thin on Patience.
I’m so thankful that my teen has created a timetable for her studies and is adhering to it. But you have to assist me here, in my efforts to din it into her that it’s a timetable and not the Indian Constitution. She can veer away from it once in a while to listen to my lectures. I’m a mother and I have the sacred right to deliver long monologues to my children. She needs to comprehend that “I’m studying !” is not sufficient reason to escape from my ramblings. Or do you also agree with her on this? Please help me gain some clarity on this issue.
Dear God, I wish to become a Tiger Mom; cracking the whip, barking instructions at my offspring, creating punishing schedules and frowning on rest and relaxation. Or maybe not, because I’m starting to scare myself !
Why does my teen think that during exams I become a fount of knowledge ? I acknowledge that I may have misled her on this topic in the past, but she should know better ! The other day while I was peacefully crushing candies on my phone, my daughter approached me with a doubt. The sudden shift from the world of candies to the world of science was in itself a shock to my system. Then she asked me a question which had words like ‘evolution’ and ‘generation shifts’ in it. For a few seconds I gave a very creditable impression of a weak headed goldfish – slack jaw, glazed eyes and an open mouth. Thankfully she quickly grasped the futility of the situation and quietly told me that she’d check with her grandmother i.e. my mother-in-law, who’s an absolute whiz on such stuff. I couldn’t even send a plea your way Lord, since my brain actually stopped functioning.
Dear Lord, is there a secret portal in washrooms which leads to an alternate universe ? My teen’s visit to the washroom increases dramatically during exams. Or is she just enjoying the peace and quiet in there with some of her favourite books for company. Needs further investigation on my part.
Lord, please do not let me obsess over my weight. I can’t give up calorie-laden yummy food, so the only alternative is to get over the fear of putting on more weight. After all, what are a few kilos here and there, right ? I know that this has nothing to do with exams and kids and studying but since we’re in a conversation or rather a monologue on my part and silent listening on yours, I thought I’d drop a gentle hint.
Dear Lord, this is just the beginning of exams and already I’m a wreck. As the days progress, you’ll find me quite often on the hotline with you. Please bear with me. Love and only Love. Yours faithfully – A Stressed Out Mom