The Impossible Bucket List
The memories of childhood have always been a refuge for me in any storm that I faced in life. So many beautiful experiences, all of which have been woven with threads of jewel bright colours and flashes of laughter. A recent conversation made me realize that my Bucket List doesn’t have any bungee jumping or hot air balloon rides in it. Mine would involve going back and experiencing those moments from my childhood again. Those wonderful instances when I felt cherished and the world seemed to be in love with me. Once more I want to relive those tiny parcels of time. Just once more…
- Once more, I long to inhale the sun-dried fragrance of my Ammumma’s (grandmom) spotless white mundu while snuggling up to her on hot drowsy afternoons.
- Once more I would love to sit in the shade, while Ammumma spooned out batter for sun-dried ‘vattals’ on to a sheet laid out in the sun. The gummy smell of the batter, ammumma’s conversations and the bright blue of the sky have remained indelibly linked with the pleasures of childhood in my mind.
- Once more I crave the exhilaration that came from being on a swing, which my cousin brothers used to push so high that I felt like I was flying into the sky.
- Once more I just want to go back to the old kirana shop near my house and deeply inhale the heady scents of spices, masalas, gunny sacks and agarbattis. I was totally in awe of the owner, who sat perched behind huge sacks of rice and glass bottles which contained sweets and peanut candy. I thought he had the most interesting job in the world, a keeper of a treasure trove.
- Once more I’d love to lie down on the terrace of my house, looking up at the night sky and dreaming on the stars, while the comforting smell of dinner being prepared wafted up on the air.
- Once more I wish I could dig into hot fragrant samosas in a gali in Delhi with my only worry being unfinished homework.
- Once more I feel like reading a novel in class, hidden under my textbook, with the drone of the teacher providing a soporific background score
- Once more I would love to watch the moon following our car as if it wanted to see us home safe. The quiet murmur of my parents’ voices from the front seats soothed me while the moon comforted me.
- Once more, I want to sit in my tuition class, staring blankly at the teacher and thinking longingly of the Sunday breakfast which awaited me – hot fluffy appams and fragrant chicken stew.
- Once more I want to jostle for space with my cousins while getting ready for bed at my uncle’s house, where all of us used to land up for vacations. We had to sleep in the huge hall and since pillows were scarce, we would wait for somebody to fall asleep in order to appropriate their pillow. The jokes and banter, and the sense of belonging we used to get there gives a silken feel to my memories of those days
- Once more I’d like to go foraging for midnight snacks in my uncle’s house along with my cousin sister, after marathon chat sessions. The memory of waking up my poor aunt from a deep sleep just to find out the location of the halwa still brings a smile to my face. The most beautiful part of this memory is how unperturbed my aunt was to see two apparitions quizzing her about food in the dead of night.
- Once more I crave the hot coffee that amma would make for me while I sat up at night to study. The dollops of love in it might have been the reason it smelled and tasted so divine. Many a time, that has been the only reason that made me stay awake 🙂
- Once more I wish to endure the agony of the last day of exams in school, just to experience the ecstasy of giving back the answer paper and rushing out of class, while soaking in the blissful feeling that the holidays had started.
- Once more I’d like to curl up by the window in my room, watching the rains caress the glossy leaves while I wove dreams about the future.
- Once more I want to feel the satisfaction of having played a great game while sweatily standing around with friends and gulping in huge lungfuls of air, after we played basketball.
- Once more I’d like to see the twinkle in my Appuppan’s (grandfather) eyes as he regaled us with stories of two children who at that time I thought were gluttons, but now seem more like passionate foodies !
- Once more I wish to overdose on Bollywood and home cooked food while chilling out at a friend’s house, supposedly for combined study sessions !
- Once more I yearn to sit with my Achan on our verandah, exchanging comments on the news while we drank our morning coffee and read the newspaper, or watched the evening sun gild the leaves a mellow gold, sharing a comfortable silence, lost in our own thoughts. Just being with him was the best feeling.