The Glass Bangle

Being a Woman

Resolutions 2016

My resolutions in the previous year were on slightly serious issues. This year I have decided to stick close to home and bring some order into my life. These resolutions have been taken after a lot of thought and consideration. (The one regarding cockroaches is of crucial importance since it can contribute significantly to my mental peace and sanity.) Here goes.

Resolutions 2016

  • Try not to sing while walking on the road. It makes people uneasy. Uneasy people stare. People who stare in turn make me uneasy. Hence.
  • Treat Coffee with the utmost respect. It’s the only thing keeping me upright early in the morning.
  • Try harder to convince self that Vegetables are friends. Do not treat them like carriers of Bubonic plague who have to be avoided at all costs.
  • As a corollary to the previous observation, – potato is not exactly the only inhabitant of the Vegetable kingdom. Look around and get acquainted with the other guys too.
  • Adopting a horizontal position and thinking of going for a walk cannot be considered as any kind of exercise. So, get out of the house, put one foot in front of the other and cover a distance from Point A to Point B. Do not forget to get back to Point A.
  • Be more creative while coming up with excuses not to go for a walk.
  • People who do not use book-marks are not criminals. Stop glaring at them. Lecturing them further might result in acts of violence against myself. So desist.
  • Eating chocolates in stealth mode to avoid detection by the rest of the family is a wise course of action. However in future, when family members, especially suspicious offspring, make a sudden entrance into the kitchen, remember to extricate head from within the refrigerator before hastily closing the door.
  • While offspring are around, try to read the headlines in the newspaper, instead of heading straight for the cartoon strip. Do not worry about hurting the feelings of Hagar the Horrible. He will wait, but gimlet-eyed offspring will not hesitate to enquire in very loud tones why mom is reading only the cartoon strip. To be avoided at all costs!
  • While new dresses are being tried on in Trial rooms, do not get too ambitious. Clothes are vicious creatures that can smell your desperation. They seem to become tighter after being worn, rendering it an almost impossible feat to get out of. Children or friends should be kept on stand-by for rescue operations if such calisthenics are undertaken.
  • Cockroaches are multiple times smaller than human beings. Recite this daily a couple of dozen times. This might help to combat the complete madness that happens when confronted by a member of this species. Create a foolproof escape plan for such occasions. Jumping all around the creature and shouting at the top of my voice only results in maniacal laughter by the entire family and a bemused shrug from the cockroach.

From past experience, I have come to the comforting conclusion that Resolutions are quite gentle-hearted and do not mind being shunted to the next year. Point Β to be kept in mind while communing with cockroaches !

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26 comments on “Resolutions 2016

  1. Nish
    March 24, 2016

    Love these. Many of them, I should also strive to achieve (especially the chocolates and trying to squeeze oneself into too tight clothes in dressing rooms).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. creativewriter
    February 18, 2016

    Love this πŸ˜€ I would have a terrible fear of cockroaches too. I can’t even stand centipedes. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Varnam Gump
    February 8, 2016

    As always ROTFL. You are really gifted. “Erma of the South Indies”.

    Like

    • The Glass Bangle
      February 10, 2016

      Varnam, such a pleasure to see you here after a long time ! Wish you a very Happy 2016 and hope this year brings a lot of love and laughter into your life. A really really tight hug to you for that wonderful comment.As I’ve mentioned before, Erma is my biggest inspiration. I haven’t stopped beaming like a cheshire cat ever since I read your comment πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. teagan geneviene
    February 1, 2016

    Anjana those are some of the best resolutions I’ve ever seen. πŸ˜€ Have a fabulous February. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Glass Bangle
      February 2, 2016

      Thank you so much Teagan !
      Hope you too had a fun time with your resolutions πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • teagan geneviene
        February 2, 2016

        LOL. Many years ago I made a resolution that I have never broken… I resolved to stop making resolutions! πŸ™‚ Have a terrific Tuesday.

        Like

      • The Glass Bangle
        February 10, 2016

        πŸ™‚

        Like

  5. dreamzandclouds
    January 7, 2016

    you are so funny Anjana….Be the same as you are…..you don’t need to change at all! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  6. shoes
    January 7, 2016

    Wonderful resolutions! I may have to steal your cockroach one – nasty, scary, beasts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Glass Bangle
      January 7, 2016

      A very Happy New Year to you Shoes ! And special wishes to Carter and Cody πŸ™‚
      As for cockroaches, we shall unite to scare them back ! (Pipe dreams,is what I hear the cockroaches saying ! )

      Like

  7. Ashish kumar
    January 6, 2016

    Interesting and enjoyable post… liked it… all the best for your listed resolutions and a very happy new year… πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Aneesh Sreekumar
    January 6, 2016

    Hilarious throughout!!!
    Really Funny!! Enjoyed reading it!!
    Wondering why mosquitoes didnt make the list!!
    Newspaper, Trail rooms, Veggies, Cockroaches and Singing were really good!!!
    Have a great year ahead!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Glass Bangle
      January 6, 2016

      Thank you so much Aneesh ! As for mosquitos, they leave me alone and so I have no quarrel with them πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Aneesh Sreekumar
        January 6, 2016

        Hmmm….. Some body here is thick skinned πŸ™‚ Or is it because they have grown tired after sucking blood out of you !! Lol !!
        Anyways !! The post was hilarious!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • The Glass Bangle
        January 6, 2016

        Or maybe they’re scared of ingesting anything with traces of craziness in it πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      • Aneesh Sreekumar
        January 6, 2016

        Ha Ha Ha !!
        Spot On !!
        No wonder why they run for cover the moment they see you !!

        Liked by 1 person

      • The Glass Bangle
        January 6, 2016

        😊

        Liked by 1 person

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